What is hope? It's a feeling. It's intangible, something we can't grasp; it's a concept, an idea. By definition, it's a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, a feeling of trust.
Hope, unlike other emotions, can't be cherished, or even controlled. It's all up to chance, luck or perserverance, it's part of a positive state of mind, but does it really change anything? It can give much needed peace, and calm in many situations, which is very valuable, but that's really all.
I hope for a better future for the world. I hope for people to care more about the world, and their impact on it. I hope for people to be more kind to each other. I hope for people to be more helpful to each other. I hope for a positive and healthy future for my son. I hope to have another baby. I hope to support my family with everything I can give. I hope to grow my family. I hope to give my son a sibling. I hope for so much more. Hope, it's like a dream, and these are some of my dreams. What are yours? What do you hope for?
I've read that we shouldn't hold out for hope, and that it's a false sense of reality. We should be living each day in the present, not in the past, not in the future, and be aware of what we do have, and not think about what we don't and what we want. Because if we hope, then we experience other unnecessary emotions, such as sadness, despair, anger etc. Having hope is like having expectations, so if we just remained neutral then we wouldn't be let down when our expectation of hope is not met. On the other hand, hope is often what gets many people through struggles, hope for a better tomorrow, hope that we will get healthier if we are sick, hope that we will be happier one day, hope that we will be rewarded for our hard work. I'm often so torn between finding and feeling hope, and losing and letting go of hope. Does it help or hurt?
I think it really depends on your circumstances, last year and up until the summer I had so much hope. My biggest hope is that I could conceive and carry to term. But that's proven to be very difficult, and there is nothing I can do to change that. I feel very out of control, and cannot grasp onto any feeling but hopelessness. Would having hope help me though? It doesn't change the outcome, like I said it's all chance. Should I keep chancing my emotions? Or should I let go, and feel the relief of no expectations, and let whatever happens to happen. What will let me live my life without this empty feeling of it never being enough. I'm so grateful for the life I have, I should just cherish that right? Or should I want more of myself, my family, and the world? Everything is always changing, things are always in transition, so what's best for me I think, is to just go with it and see where it takes me. Surf the waves of life as they come, and go, and not expect my big break to come. When and if it comes, I know it will be the best feeling in the world, and I don't think I can thank hope for that. I think I have strength, courage, bravery, and resilience to thank.
Each day I yearn for these things, it's not hope I'm chasing though, it's neutrality. Some days anger, sadness, despair, or hopelessness win, and others happiness, joy and excitement, but always coming back to neutrality is what gets me through the days, weeks, months, and years.