Taking the time off after I lost Isabel was the best decision I made. Thinking back to it, that time helped me become who I am today, the stronger, softer version of my old self. It allowed me to be sad all I wanted and spend time with Ethan, while also healing in the most peaceful way. I am forever grateful that I was allowed that time, and for all those that supported me in that decision. And more than ever grateful to work in an organization surrounded by people that respected my wishes, and allowed me to take as much time as I needed; there really didn't seem to be a limit.
There has been a lot going on at work, besides me dealing with continually trying to balance work & life, which is still very difficult after losing Isabel, there have been some major illnesses and losses with some of my colleagues. My heart is softer than ever, so it's devastating to keep hearing bad news after bad news. I wish there was more that I could do for them. But all I can say is slow down life, and take the time, even if you think you don't need it, because you will never get it back. Work is always going to be there, it's not going anywhere, it will wait for you.
I know it sounds cliche, but we only get one life, and we should choose wisely how we spend it. You will never regret the extra time you took doing something meaningful, but you will almost always regret time wasted or not well spent. We all have the ability to accomplish amazing and beautiful things if we just allow ourselves the extra time, patience and willingness to be vulnerable and open with what is going on in our lives. This stuff doesn't come easy, so be patient and willing, because we are always hardest on ourselves, without even realizing it. And if you're anything like me, then you want to give up the minute it becomes difficult. You want to climb back in bed and pretend it's just a dream. We don't always unfortunately get that opportunity, sometimes we must keep going, so the only thing we can do is face whatever it is on our own time. So slow down, and press pause, you will always be glad that you did.